Tuesday, June 30, 2009

'Let It K.G. Be' - LENIN & McCARTHY

(1932) Phonograph Recording.

Take one conservative US senator who hates communism with a passion. Give him an acoustic guitar. Then give that senator access to the tomb of Russia's greatest communist. Put a harmonica in that communist's mouth and pay a Moscow baker to push up and down on his stomach. The result is the now long forgotten duo who influenced every folk star, from Joan Baez to Simon and Garfunkel.

The senator was Joe McCarthy; the communist was, of course, Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov, famously known as Lenin.

So why would an American who hated Reds with such a passion play music with a long dead communist? Well, this could be speculation but some pundits have theorized that Joe and Lenin went to university together. St. Petersburg State Polytechnical University to be precise. They were roomates and started their duo with Joe on guitar and Lenin on harmonica. Sounds feasible, doesn't it? Well it is true.

Lenin of course died in 1924 and this broke up the act. Joe was distraught that his college buddy was gone, telling a journalist, "Yeah, it's a drag." But McCarthy had other plans, to continue the partnership. The result became Lenin & McCarthy's greatest album, 'Let It K.G. Be'.

Highlights include: My Mule She Won't Move, Heave Ho, Stalin the Man of Steal, Middle of Nowhere Blues, Salt Mines, and I Wish I Was Back In Ole Kentucky. The song old folk remember most is one that Paul McCartney would adapt in 1970. The song was called 'Go Back'. Here is a snippet of that song with Joe McCarthy on guitar, Lenin on blues harp with a little bit of help from Sergei the baker operating Lenin's stomach bellows.

'Go Back' by Lenin & McCarthy

McCarthy of course went on to cause panic in the arts world of the 1950s with his anti-American witch trials turning friend against friend. Funny that all along, Senator Joe was just one fun loving pinko.

Ebay had a copy of this album last year. It's worth a cool thousand now if you can get it.

- Matthew Ward, reporting

Fashionetts: Disco Screams

Not like other girl rock bands...get ready for Fashionetts! They're stylish, smart, arty and the next best thing in music!Their album Disco Screams will make you enter different worlds, find your inner fashionista and of course dance all night long!
Biggest names in fashion and music love them so don't wait to find out why!

Disco Screams brings:

1. Coco
2. Broken Kisses
3. Little Gold Dress
4. Silver Tears On The Red Floor
5. His Voice
6. Stripes
7. Glittering Nightmares
8. Moonshine
9. Innovator
10. Raw Sugar

Monday, June 29, 2009

doll, a shadow doll: impromptu

Marcy Daphine told me she was looking out her living room window in 1968 when she saw the neighborhood kids grab trashcan lids and rocks and begin a street fight, a fight that cost Arnie White his eyesight and permenantly damaged the hearing of Reggie Willis.

Daphine said she didn't think to call the police at the time. Instead, she was enthralled by all the banging, and so she ran out on the street with her camera and captured some marvelous footage. Indeed, the soundtrack of her film, Camden Street, became grist for the instrumental compilations she put together for this album thirty years later after the fight.

The album title "impromptu" refers not so much to the pre-recorded track as it does to the craft of making music to fit the street fight, and Daphine has created an enchanting mix here with violins and steel guitar.

Finally, there's the wonderful but tragic ballad selection where Daphine sings the histories of the kids in the fight. Perhaps most memorable among these ballads are "They Are Bleeding, but I Don't Know Their Names" and "James Johnson for Governor." In all, the album is a masterpiece.

A n y t h i n g : paint on glass

Your guess is as good as mine as to how this collection of sounds became an album, but the collection here is all about flows, drips, splats, pourings, swirls, rubbings, scrapes, and brushes. "paint gun" and "water hose wash down" may actually be entertaining, but that's probably up to you.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

cactus cathedral: neon desert disco salad

This band, comprised of musicians from Kermit, Texas to Flagstaff, Arizona, made its mark with such tunes as "prickly, sticky mess," "tequila won't mix, Honey," "burn down in a duster," "love your lizard lunch," and "she doesn't really have a headache." Indeed, the ironies related to this album abound: a band picture shot in No Trees, Texas, beneath the trees; a water moccasin hat wrap for the band member known as Rattlesnake; and a song titled "apricot" about a girl named "Peaches."

pale blue: battery powered popsicle

This album chronicles the use of tracking devies in the citizens of the island of popsicle. "The isle of popsicle is a harmonious community because we made it that way," says jazz legend Brook Massey.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Fluffy's Bloodlust: Human Scratching Post

Here's another hardcore punk band that simply rubbed critics the wrong way. Fluffy's Bloodlust (formed in 1979), was labeled by one such critic as, "the reason today's punk is yesterday's disco". But kids on the punk scene strongly disagreed. "Fluffy's Bloodlust is like, my fucking reason for living, man", offered one arguably inebriated fan. "Their music is true beauty halved by life's atmospheric chainsaw", chimed another (which we assumed to be a favorable remark). Personally, I've always been fond of the controversial track # 2, Shut Your Mousehole, which some have interpreted to be about the repercussions of reverse sodomy and its long-term negative affects on household pets and appliances. If you're looking for something a little left of the litter box, give Human Scratching Post a listen.

Slick Space: Futures in Trucking

This album is a country and western / science fiction mash-up, and it classifies as freaking weird. Rumor has it that the tracks captured here were actually part of a movie (of the adult variety) whose media was destroyed for legal reasons, i.e., the participants wanted to stay out of jail.

The tunes here are hammer down loud and also squiggly (not sure what this term implies, but it's the term album producer Jules Johnson used), but there are also stories on this album.

Because Kicking Willie on Winged Dancer Gratitude is difficult to follow, espeically with all of its sound effects, we have included what we could discern as the text for this story here. We have your edification at heart.


Kicking Willie on Winged Dancer Gratitude

Circa 2078.

Sour Mash was on a clandestine bender and had had his yell squawk stolen, or so he intimated—but if you ask me, to his crumbs, Sour Mash was just lacking proper gratitude.

On one long bender, two of his buddy air benders pulled into a lazy fuel, and Sour Mash, once again getting a free vomit slide out of the accounting procedure, wasn’t even so grateful as to offer to buy them a sugar sip. Or an itching eyebrow. Or a round in the coup. A bowl of vitamin-enriched yodels. A breakfast minute. A cotton fern. Hell, something.

Well, those two crumbs, Decorated Nut Job and The Hedgehog, played a bit of a trick on Sour Mash. Since they were minding wave traffic, Sour Mash not having a yell squawk, teach him a lesson, they would.

A few hours down the vomit slide, approaching a lazy fuel notorious for its goo sacks, The Hedgehog, the air hauler bringing up the reach back, got on his yell squawk, and describing Sour Mash and his winged dancer, put out the word that he was, indeed, Sour Mash and that he was more cloven than ten billy goats gruff and could take on twenty mollusk salads—three at once so long as they were fresh cut.

No one could miss Sour Mash’s rig, not after The Hedgehog described it. A flaming whamdoodle with a coma lounge the size of heaven and with a shiny silver macaroni emblazoned with the word Fandango—“Fandango calls glorious ninja Trappist painted sunshine,” The Hedgehog had said over the yell squawk, posing as Sour Mash.

“My dancer’s big and bright—red as chemical—, bald like an antique helmet, but clean as a whistle.”

Decorated Nut Job, the lead air bender, headed for the gut-of-the-earth churn up, knowing Sour Mash would follow. The Hedgehog angled in odd so Sour Mash was pretty much cut off between winged dancers and fills—but not that he needed to be cut off, because he wasn’t suspecting any non-sense.

Before Sour Mash could look over his shoulder to see if there was a spot open in the lot or nod to Decorated Nut Job, three goo sacks were in his sleeper squirting velvet squish on each other, one clam kitten was in his black hole flying reindeer, and two goo sacks were yanking wishbone.

Only thing Sour Mash could think about was some inspector from his company coming out in the midst of this fiasco and catching him with a wagon-load of goo sacks, and party incentives, and who knows what else.

I can hear Sour Mash cursing himself now: “Silly putty pegging insurance, silly putty pegging insurance.”

Kicking Willie said he was there for the whole thing, eating a bowl of peppercorn with ram finder in the lazy fuel, said Sour Mash let out the loudest “Whoa” he’d ever heard.

Could have stopped a parade of pterodactyls with that “Whoa.”

Kicking Willie said watching Sour Mash trying to get his winged dancer in order was about ten times funnier than watching a lizard chase a newborn tied to a poultry stick.

Sour Mash had to shell out twenty founding fathers each to ten ivy-league optometrists to get them out of his winged dancer. Something like that.

Watching Sour Mash try to figure out which sock and slicker, bootslide, and pocket had a stash of grey and green was just about ridiculous.

“Tightwad,” yelled Decorated Nut Job and The Hedgehog.

Then Sour Mash had to fish around in the dark to make sure none of the goo sacks dropped their accelerants. About that time, Decorated Nut Job and The Hedgehog came over to hurt him help.

Later, Sour Mash told me he was kind of disappointed he didn’t get to spend any time with the clam kitten with the big fluff fins bouncing in his perky. It would have been too much of that.

“Damn near poking my sockets out with her fishing gear,” blurted Sour Mash.

“But I can’t believe those goo sacks thought I had an Arkansas trout. Where’d they ever get that lightbulb?” guffawed Sour Mash.

There was laughter all about the vomit slide when Sour Mash asked that question.

“That’s pretty damn expensive,” I said to Sour Mash with everyone listening, “when you have to shell out that kind of underwater artifact for the treatment when you don’t even want any treatment. Teach a man to show proper gratitude to his crumbs.”

When I said that, Sour Mash got a yanking slit himself.

Course, it would have been funnier if Decorated Nut Job or The Hedgehog would have thought to have brought a Capture It to the crisis, but they were too busy laughing their glad-to-be-Americans off.


A big 10-4 good buddy.

IMMENSE: counterbalance

Following their albums such as Big As It Gets, XXL-XXL, Large--Nuff Said?, XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL, X to the X of L, HUGE, King Kong On, Mountain Atop Mountain, this ginormous band either found religion (or a different one), a new pharmicist, a different metaphor for life (possibly due to the work of metonymist Keith Stacey), or some combination thereof, but whatever the change in lifestyle, life philosophy, or musical style, this album truly disappointed such die-hard IMMENSE fans as Hall of Fame-bound Derrick Culver of the Tulsa Tornadoes, who said, "I just can't get pumped up on tunes like, 'Fung Sung Shui' or 'rib'." Jason Ratliff, Trey Ander, and Josh Killibrew shared similar sentiments to those of Derrick Culver, but Potemkin's Eric Tweedy said, "I've changed my workout to meet the challenge of IMMENSE, and it's improved my game 115%."

Duggery: Unweeded Garden

Inspired by The Who's Tommy, Duggery, a William Shakespeare
tribute band, rewrote Hamlet as a rock opera, and Unweeded
is that opera. This two disc set features:

1) Who's There?,
2) Upon a Ghost,
3) Wedding Feast, Wedding Beasts,
4) Father Pimp,
5) Polonius, Polonius, Polonius,
6) Be Me,
7) Piece of Work,
8) Paint a Face, Not One,
9) A Diet of Worms,
10) Country Matters,
11) Play Upon My Pipe,
12) The Best Actors in the World,
13) The Mouse Trapped,
14) Frighted by False Fire,
15) Water Bride Unwashing,
16) To England,
17) Two Heads for One,
18) Yorick,
19) Nine Year,
20) Errant Arrow,
21) Men of Straw,
22) Fortinbras.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Ape Shit: Raw Banana Brigade, 1972

This Canadian rock band, best known for their life-like gorilla suits and handmade "banana canon" (which they frequently unleashed on concert goers), never really caught on. One track, "Peel You a New One", an uptempo ditty about the unsavory effects of a cheese grater used on human flesh, did receive some air time on a local radio station, but the listener complaints were so plentiful, it was quickly pulled from the playlist. Basically, this album sucks, but I included it here because the cover art is so totally kick ass.

Fern Gaudagnino: Proof They Were Busy

Ex-Badminton Pro, Fern Gaudagnino, lights up the soundstage with this breakout performance collection, winning 10 M&M-TV awards. Ms. Gaudagnino, borrowing limber finesse from her sport, nets gold stars from music-hall-famed critic Pierce Orfus! “Like smashing elbows into guts,” says Orfus of the Gaudagnino “Blue Metal” sound. Her same courtside manners may be found in the lyrical witticisms racketed into every track on this fine album, such as Backcourt Hazard, It’s Not My Fault I Carried on the Drive, Kill-Kill-Shuttlecock, and Platinum single, Smash Match!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

the glory who who: concentrate

Here it is, the album inspired by the concept of sneezeesthesia--the album that begs the question, "what color is your sneeze?"

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Toad Red: Tic Tac Toad

This fraternity favorite only wanted to be a cover band so its members could party and get paid for it on the weekends, but the band members soon found themselves in the studio recording their standard, "Everybody Yell" song. It wasn't long until they had enough lyrics to record several different versions of this song, and from there, they had to come up with some tunes to fill up the rest of the album:

1) Everybody Yell, Grueber,
2) Everybody Yell, Smithsonian,
3) Everybody Yell, June,
4) Everybody Yell, Cast a Spell,
5) Everybody Yell, John Denver,
6) Yell Like Hell,
7) I Lost My Pants in the Last Dance,
8) Umph!,
9) Umph, Umph, Umph,
10) Seriously Seriously,
11) Microbiology,
12) Teething Ring,
13) Get Off the Couch,
14) Grab It and Run.

Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

larry's travel lies: the movie soundtrack

You might have been tempted to utter that academic phrase, "I liked the book better than the movie," but after you watched larry's travel lies, you probably acknowledged why you like moviews as much as you do. Even more than that, you fell in love with the movie soundtrack with its racing guitar riffs, champion solos, drifting drums, and amusement park smörgåsbord of sound combos, of which "percolate" has to be a tune that most reminds you of deep-fried homemade cherry ice cream filled with espresso, lemon, and marshmallow.

Remember, no one pays you to use your imagination.

If you love that scene at an outdoor rock concert where Larry ambles back to his seat with a lady's wristwatch in hand and has to explain to Bill and Mark that he got it in exchange for a favor, you'll love the new Pinkerouous version of "faster faster faster" on the soundtrack.

Love the movie? Love the book, but think it would have been better with a soundtrack? Well, here it is.

Monday, June 22, 2009

meringue harido: j'adore votre perruque

One of the only Texas-twang French bands to get airplay, this band from Del Mar is still good at getting lucky:

1) put some lipstick on and on and on,
2) I ain't been to Paris never, not even Paris, Texas,
3) when my ex says, "Watcha doing honey?", I,
4) votre chien,
5) test drive, Mister?
6) votre perruque,
7) poodle,
8) if Thelma and Louise were driving Chitty-Chitty Bang Bang,
9) beer for ladies,
10) dalmation salvation,
11) lady's night,
12) spent.

David Miles: Kind of Brown

On this classic record, David Miles' mainstream breakthrough that reached over sixteen fans, the musician found his voice through what he called "octavated breathing," producing a sludge-like tone that could only be termed "brown." This new shade of tonal color caused a slight depression in all who listened to it and has been the cause of several mishaps involving excessive alcohol consumption and one incident of self-inflicted eardrum stabbing. Kind of Brown pre-dates Miles' electric period, when he connected his trumpet to a microphone while in the bathtub, thus electrocuting himself. The recorded result, Bathtub Brew, is considered avant-garde by some and by at least one critic as the "aural equivalent of a sadistic colon cleansing."

Phallica: Hot Pink, 1984 (Collector's Edition)

Phallica's first album, Hot Pink, dropped like a pair of slut pants on a Bon Jovi tour bus and shot straight to the top of the charts. Both #1 singles, "Three Thrusts From Done", and, "Coming From Behind", are included in this overall rollicking good record. Dubbed "the best fucking music of all time" by Screw Magazine, this collector's item (which includes a zucchini keychain and nude band pictorial) is well worth the splurge.

Compilation: Bavarian Ha Ha Rap Party

Dieses Pochenalbum ist die Scheiße. Sie finden nie ein anderes Pochenalbum wie dieses. Selbst wenn wir wie Elfe aussehen, können wir noch klopfen. Deutscher ist beste Sprache für das Klopfen. Wir lieben, Aufträge abzustreifen! Und das ist, warum diese Aufzeichnung Rock-and-Rollpochen ist. Es ist besser als Wagner. Sie verbessern Kauf diese Aufzeichnung, oder wir schießen Sie. Wir sind die besten Pochengruppen im Bayern und wir mögen ständig trinken. Dieses ist die Parteimusik, zum zu zu hören und Sie kennen, dass Sie es mögen, also angehen Sie und sprengen eine Nutempfindung.

bridge: pulp cathedral

In basketball, there's the expression, "nothing but net," but we don't know what the corresponding expression would be in Japanese, nor would we know how to pronounce it if we did know it. Let's just say, "nothing but flute," which would convey the aura of this album, but then our words would be inaccurate since there are kettle drums and vocals involved on most of the tracks.

Here are some of the most beautiful lyrics currently on the market:

The deer with its doe eye, the tree branch
Lingered until a squirrel, morning mist uplifted
Nut of a trout stream, mountain melting
Moss bed in bloom, ice wine of forgotten

While the back cover, not pictured here, is a beautiful portrait of snow monkeys, the front cover concerns an imaginary wooden bridge, and the wooden bridge itself is a tribute to the Japanese soldiers who successfully invaded Alaska during World War II:

Salmon and bear and cold, whose idea was it
To conquer the snow, Alaska is cold

Let me conclude by saying, if you love flute, this album is for you.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Catch-It Live Company: The Number 1 Album

That odd service van in your neighborhood, that phone call that always comes upon walking into another room, away from the front window, that meter reader who is not really a meter reader, all of these things are signs of being watched, and Tye Anthony was one such watcher, but after years of peeking in windows, Tye Anthony decided to make compiliations of his recordings, and this album is one such effort.

From a recording at a local high-school football game, Tye Anthony found what he deemed to be the perfect track, the traditional sporting cheer, "We're number 1." In perusing his archvies, he found that he had recorded this rant eight times in twenty years. Indeed, this album is testimony to "We're number 1" with all of its jeers, its thump-thumps on bleachers, its foot stomping, its clapping, its hooting, and, yes, even its occassional name calling.

But there's more. Tye Anthony also found that the number one was just about everywhere, and he's put together a series of, I must say, very interesting tracks that reference the number one.

Yes, Tye Anthony did not stop at the number-one theme so be sure to watch for such albums as The Doorbell's Ringing, the Clock Alarm's Singing, Where Are You? and Noises Only the Nosey Will Find.

Saturday, June 20, 2009


...finally out the first work of the ''SOW'':Axe23...
...a long unique track(20 minutes) of true ,absolutely true... pure dark apocalyptic industrial noise!!!!

Friday, June 19, 2009

silhoutte yesterday: candy biscuit

With four songs entitled, "icing," two entitled, "candy biscuit," another four entitled "schwarzwälder kirschtorte," one entitled "sugar sprinkle," and my favorite, "only wear an apron" (only one), this couples disc is the gourmand's choice for the best of epicurean romance.

Forget candlelit dinners and thrill instead to sounds of whipped cream cannisters squirting at full bore in freshly scrubbed kitchens.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Krantz McCrant, Ella Irwin, and Halwick Diebenthorn: Ping Pong Songs

This album is the studio effort of Krantz McCrant, Ella Irwin, and Halwick Diebenthorn. Its title comes from the fact that, on the day of recording, this trio, being in need of a metronome and having saved just enough for an hour and fifteen minutes worth of studio time, made a historic decision: to use the audio of a World Championship Ping Pong Tournament as its metronome, which also helped stretch the total track time to eighty-five minutes of delight.

You will thrill to every kerplunck, swash-slat, foouuoot-chan, and verplinck on this sound-crafted disc. Be sure to check out "Ella's Magical Sax" and "Glottal Stop Clicks and Drum Thumps," both wonderful environmental mixes. Plus, there's the harmonious whistling of the trio in "Good Paddle, Good Paddle, Bad," a treat for the entire family.

And vocals? Yes, there are vocals. Actual songs as the album title suggests? Yes. Be sure to give a listen to "1, 2, 3, Hammer Down" and "Spin It." Here's a bit of my favorite tune on the album, "Egg Timer," which features the round-robin singing of the chorus "Ding ding ding, wind it" infused with mouth-harp, table saw, "kerplunck kerplunck swish," audio from a swim tournament, and the lyrics I love: "I caught you in the parking lot and made you go back to work, ker-plinck."

The "Gong Pong Ping" trilogy, except for its sound-byte overlays and the soft and hard underlay of kerplunking, might give some sort of fulfillment to environmental purists, but truly, this trilogy is a gong-a-licious favorite. Turn it up to hear the hard wave of "ker-bong, ker-bong" interspersed with the softer "kerchan, kerplinck."

And if you didn't get it already, the "song" in the album title concerns the singing of the ping pong, not lyrics, not vocals. Excuse me for glottal clicking.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


Ladies and gentlemen, I now present you with the top-selling bluegrass album of all time: The Porch Dogs: Low Down Dirty. Produced as a tribute to lead man Les Worth's paternal grandmother, Vernella (Dirty) Worth (pictured on cover), this record was the first of its ilk to go triple platinum, selling millions of copies in a mere matter of minutes. Referred to as, "backwoods brouhaha, (but in a good way)" and said to contain "the best damn banjoing this side of the Mason-Dixon Line", Low Down Dirty is the perfect shoe for any musicphile to chew on.

The Fuckers: The Fuckers

Never having been told punk died decades ago, The Fuckers released their first and last record on cassette tape in 2006. Further recordings were precluded when all four members died of a simultaneous heroin overdose in 2006. Their best-known song, which the entire band listened to at some point, remains Phlegm. Other tracks included Piss and, taking up the entirety of cassette side B, the punk opera Vomit. The members were known by their respective letters F, U, C, and K. Songwriting for their intended follow-up cassette, The Fuckers: The Fuckers The Fuckers, ended when the band decided it preferred staring into space.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Land of the Loud: Tin Drum

This album is a LIVE recording of LAND OF THE LOUD. The loudest performance ever recorded! (And that's the album's title too.) People left the concert with their whole bodies ringing. Their ears were bleeding.

"A truly awful experience," said Linda Yates of the 1995 concert where her brother's pacemaker quit and she had to rush him to the hospital. Unfortunately, she had tried to adjust her brother's hearing aid and turned off his pacemaker instead. Truth be told, she wasn't supposed to be at the concert with her brother. "I thought they weren't supposed to go above 85 decibels at concerts anymore," Yates complained.

Check out the performance pieces:

1) Raw Jet Engine Amplified,
2) Beethoven's Ear to the Floor,
4) March to Hell,
5) We Didn't Make It to Hell, We're Still Marching,
7) Thumper Bunnies,
8) Blast Off,
9) Wind Tunnel,
10) Like a Whoosh,
11) Drum On and On,
12) Three Encore Finish,
13) This Is IT,
14) OK, The Ode to Oskar,

Tragically, bassist Ron McFinney's hands were burned off in the concert following this one when the jet engine spun off its base.

Nylon Deluxe

New cover, Benita Bécquer "Nylon Deluxe"
2009 por Diana Magallón

Cover original
Benita Bécquer álbum "Nylon Deluxe" del año 1981

Benita Bécquer es un grupo experimental mexicano, compuesto por
tres experimentados músicos y su vocalista quien poseé una voz muy particular,
alabada por los expertos, bienvenida por jóvenes y grandes.
Siempre escapándose de los formatos tradicionales.

El resultado es este álbum con muchos arreglos vocales e instrumentales, profundos, emocionales, nostálgicos pero siempre con la marcada intensidad de su batería.

Su música rescata momentos del día a día y sonidos que nos son familiares a todos
pero editados dentro de un contexto que los hace únicos.

Incluye su muy afamada canción "Vil", que ha sido interpretada por
cantantes de diversos estilos y traducida a varios idiomas. "Brindis bajo la luz",
"Siempre", "El sueño de Salomé" entre otros.

'Freudian Tunnel'
Archetype Records, 1997

CSC are a group of 24 year old lads from Everton in England. They all have computer science degrees, are all geeks and all love music more than just about anything.

The press release I have says: "Freudian Tunnel may be the finest debut album from a British band ever, and that includes such established names as The Beatles, The Rolling Stones and The Who".

That's a pretty big rap. Critics in England are already saying that because the band utilises a computer they are just plagiarising other peoples' hard work, "scoring free flesh of a dying antelope", one London rag has said. But this is a little unfair.

Brendan Witherspoon, a self-proclaimed hacker and leader of the trio said the band knew they were going to be big when they discovered that all major Beethoven pieces, when recorded backwards, spliced up then recorded forwards, gave not only astonishing tunes, but also the apparent sound of people talking, and not stilted like in the backmasking trials of the '70s and '80s (Led Zeppelin, Motley Crue, Queen etc...) but actual lyrics.

Peter Sutherland, the band's 'funny one' mentioned his theory to The Guardian in July: that the spirits of old Beethoven and others like him had left a puzzle for artists like CSC to tap.

And tap they have. If you like house music you will be pleased. If you hate all niteclub music you will be converted. 'Freudian Tunnel' has precious moments, from the mysterious 'Tambourine Flash I still Got The Cash' and 'Fisherman Baskets For Sale', 'Reds They Come From Crook-ed Cross Drawing', 'Degrees and Degrees of Sanity' plus the boppy 'Regress Too Far Away', this album will sell well with both those in the drug culture and the people entrenched in other, more eclectic tastes. Yes! Album due out in early November.

-Carl Young (1997)

environ-mentalist: fighting for the trees

This band has to be the angriest band in a very long time. Yes, most
of its current and former members are either in prison or awaiting

No urban legend: Former band member, then drummer Brett Woodup,
attacked a mother and her children waiting in line in their SUV at
a fast-food restaurant and doused them in gasoline. Fortunately
for them, a quicker-than-usual fast-food employee remembered the
hot coffee trick and drenched Woodup, the would-be perpetrator, in
hot coffee and styrofaom cups before Woodup could set the family
ablaze. Woodup now sits on death row in Texas --the detectives
found that he had previously killed his parents and was living off
his inheritance.

The toted cause of this band is the environment, but some critics
suspect that this band uses any excuse it can muster to destroy
property with abandon and to maim other people. No one has been
sacrificed for the band's cause yet, but the band keeps trying.

Band supporter and top music critic, Justin Nap, writes, "A cause
not worth killing other people for is no cause at all. Buy environ-
mentalist's latest."

Indeed, ex-Revengers of the Forest members Nate Berloin and Susan
Softgrowth, now environ-mentalist members, believe that they are
the children of the god Vir and that their mission is to cleanse
the earth.

The lawyer for former envion-mentalist Judy Pierce, once back-up
singer and tambourine player, argues that her client's arson attacks
on nail salons were not a hate crime, but an attempt to save the
environment from the ravages of acetone.

Their reasoning and related actions suspect, environ-mentalist
members have taken the stand: "show no reason." Their current hit,
"Find the Re-Cycle Bin or Have Your Arm Broken," is Number 1 on the
charts and "green henchman," the song about Druids, is Number 7.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

The Memoirs: Public Confessions

The Memoirs formed in 1999 and released a steady stream of popular albums filled with their trademark blend of absolute narcissism and self-pity. Their lyrics are easily identifiable by the always-embarrassing self-revelations, which provide the hungry audience with somebody against whom they can favorably compare their empty lives. Public Confessions compiles the somewhat-best of The Memoirs, with songs like "I Probably Used to Drink More Than You Did in College," "If I Make It to the 12th Step They'll Have to Invent the 13th," and "Help: I'm Running Out of Problems." As the band reached its zenith, various members attempted to self-destruct but instead were Bakerized by album-dependent fans. "Luckily," these escapades provided the material for still more records, including their next, "Grant Me the Wisdom to Know the Difference Between Suffering and Self-Promotion."

The Wilkonson Brothers

The Wilkonson Brothers consisted of Willie and William, and their many fans often mixed up the two thanks to their similar and/or exactly alike names. This fueled disharmony between the duo. They came to blows on so many occasions that they were only recorded once in their lifetimes, but the record has become a classic amongst the nearly dead. Their sole record features these unforgettable songs:
  • It's Getting So the Ads Are Better Than the Shows
  • I Got the Gout
  • Get Off My Yard, You Little Pricks
  • Corns and Bunions
  • I'll Divorce Her in Heaven
  • I Can't Believe How Tall You Are (I Remember When You Were Only This Tall)
Unfortunately to some, The Wilkonson Brothers left no other music behind, no record of their younger years, though whenever pressed by grandchildren to play their music, one or the other would respond, "All I want's a goddamned beer. Go listen to your hippity-hoppity."


Taking their name from a birth control device that became popular in
the 1980s, this never-really popular band produced some tunes that
have only recently hit the charts. Indeed, their rants against movies
like The Breakfast Club, their insistence on turning the firehose on
preppies at their outdoor concerts, and their dismissal of the 1980s
British scene as a "barbershop quartet bunch of tweedholes," cost
them their base, and the other base they might have had didn't like
their derisive comments about leather and metal in the tune, "My
Cow Is Suede."

Today, though, the album cover that might have been an influence in
either the creation of the jello shot or in its popularity (the story
of the influence of this album cover was reported by someone under
the influence and what they were talking about remains unclear,
but the album here pictured was called Jello Shot) has been
reissued with a compilation disk containing such tunes as "Pictures
of Your Mother Naked," "The Stark Club," "Ecstacy Was Legal Then,"
"Her Cold Carpet," "Barely Escaped," "We All Got Pregnant," and "I
Registered My Gun Before I Shot Your Dad." The compilation disc is
titled Hell No Jello.

In a recent interview with the band, xylophonist Kate Bigilow once
again thanked her music teacher for introducing her to classical
music and to the Beatles and to John Coltrain, and everyone in the
band pondered the fate of long missing bassist Kurt Peppers.

For legal reasons, this album may be distributed with the band name
ZpongeeZ in some markets.

Richard's Gerbil: Crisco Party

Richard's Gerbil is one of the forgotten bands of the Orange County, California hardcore punk scene. The band performed from 1979 to
1981 at the legendary Cuckoo's Nest along with Black Flag, TSOL, Circle Jerks, and many others.

The four band members John Derby, Kipper Smith, Jackson Hole, and Scooter Pye met while working as trash sweepers at Knott's Berry Farm, a popular Southern California amusement park. The band released this one critically acclaimed live album before Pye and Derby were killed along with five other amusement park employees by a rollerskating elephant that went on an unexplained rampage. Hole
and Smith both left the music business shortly after the deaths of
their band mates.

Reknowned punk band Black Flag is said to have been greatly
influenced by Richard's Gerbil and it is a largely unknown
fact that their 1982 single "TV Party" is tribute to Crisco Party.

Here is a sample of the lyrics of Crisco Party:

We're gonna have a Crisco party tonight.
If mom and dad don't like it, we're gonna fight.

There's nothin' like Crisco for a good time.
Butter or plain, it isn't a crime.

We're gonna have a Crisco party tonight.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Richard Quinn: Lint Picking, 1966

One of the most underrated folk singers of our time, Richard Quinn, provides a touching array of numbers focusing on his childhood trials and tribulations. The son of an alcoholic taxidermist and circus performer (his mother was a sword swallower), Quinn was no stranger to emotional and physical upheaval. Having lived in 26 states by the time he turned 19 (before finally settling in Wyoming), Quinn provides a rich patchwork of Americana interwoven with overwhelming hopelessness. If you need a good cry, this is THE album to buy!

Tracks include:

No More Booze for Baby
I Guess this is Texas
Dead Pet Decorations
Stop Making Jokes about My Mom
California Wasn’t Half Bad
The Animals Just Keep Staring
Big Top Terror
Why Wyoming?


Side-Show Valentine (a beautiful duet with eventual wife, BB, the bearded lady).

Furious Fade: Mai Tai Hotel

Finally, a vacation album for beach-side hotels with views that over-
look industrial waste sites, for beautiful sunsets for bleary-eyed
travellers, for being holed up in a room with a sunburn while every-
one else is body surfing. Yes, songs that any self-respecting hotel bar
band would never touch. Here it is Furious Fade's Mai Tai Hotel,
the album that gives us "You Don't Make a Mai Tai with Gin,"
"Nachos in Nova Scotia Have White Cheese," What's a Clam Bake
in Texas," "Why I Love Ann-Margaret," "Elvis Impersonators Get
Laid Too," "My Sister the History Major Hates John Wayne Movies,"
"The Truck Driver Next Door," and there's more. But these tunes
should be enough to make anybody's headache worse.

Thursday, June 11, 2009


This album scared the crap out of me....still does.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

The Toe Band: Copper Clogs

Have you ever heard of bands by the names of Waiting for
Godot 007 or Big Sissy? The Toe Band released an album
under each of these names as well as singles under a few other
names, including Hardwood Sneakers, until it settled into
The Toe Band name for three albums.

Critics have often said that The Big Toe Band would have
been a better name, but "Big Toe" proved the signature single
and "Cut It to the Quick" a disco-punk chart topper. The
untitled album pictured here became known as Copper Toes
to The Toe Band aficionados.

Perhaps strangest of all, this album features a mandolin
version of "America the Beautiful," a wine-glass whisper version
of "I'm Your Dog, Hide the Clippers," "Stub It" ("Drum with Clogs"),
and a boat-motor version of "Round the Kettle."

This album covers seventeen songs in all, four of which are
harmonica only. Oh, and a bit of trivia: The band member
names: Randy, Randy, Randy, Randy, Randy, Randy, and

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The Junebugs: Foolish, 1992

Robby Fox's posthumous mega-hit, "Maybe Means Yes to Me", is alive and well on this limited edition LP. Also included, the eerily prophetic, " Driving my '89 Pickup off a Cliff in Mount Greenwood at 1:53 a.m.". Touted as "grunge for grown-ups", The Junebug's Foolish makes its listeners feel anything but.

Lando System - Japanese Ice Machine

Hot off of their tour of Southeast Asia, Lando System’s newest album Japanese Ice Machine redefines insecure, adolescent anger rock which attempts to decapitate you but still takes time to stop and smell the roses.

From too fast for your ears musical assaults like Throttle Bodies to more tender ballads such as Eventually we'll never see each other again Lando System gives you your musical money's worth or dies trying.

Complete Song List:

  1. My hands aren’t shakin’ (my wrists are)

  2. Werewolf Love

  3. Japanese Ice Machine

  4. I can’t remember to forget you

  5. Dudley Simpson was a Musical Genius

  6. Forever the river flows

  7. Lights, Camera, Machete

  8. Throttle Bodies

  9. Vaudeville Vampire

  10. Call me Lloyd

  11. Eventually we’ll never see each other again

Monday, June 8, 2009

Emperor: A Time of Sorrow

Emperor is back with their crowning achievement to date: A Time of Sorrow.

On their 4th album, Porter Prince, Claphands McGlinty & EmCee Bobo rap royally with new hit singles, "Weep for the Burnt Toast" & "Thorny Throne." 15 tracks of pure diss and dass.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Rhonda Hobbs and The Show Stoppers: Four on the Floor, 1975

Dust off your dancing shoes because, Rhonda Hobbs and The Show Stoppers, will have you on your feet, guaranteed!

This beautifully covered album includes both U.S. #1 singles, "Big Bottom, You've Got Him" and "Crisco Disco".

Hobbs is at the top of her game vocally and the disco-definitive orchestral accompaniment provides just the right backdrop.

A highly synthesised delight!


What can I say about Boise's most beloved psychadelic rock band that hasn't been said before? Broth is one of rock's most revered pioneers, serving as inspiration for such bands as The BeeGees, The Monkeys and The Rolling Stones. This 1967 self titled album will not dissappoint even the most finicky of rock fans. Buy it and find out why Mickey Dolenz called it a "mind-blowing journey through glitter-tunnel-sparkle-dust and beyond. "

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Barbed Wire Undergarments: Sharp Spoons

Barbed Wire Undergarments (Ireland's equivalent of the Sex Pistols)
hit the scene in 1975 with their highly acclaimed debut album, Sharp
Spoons. Frontman Smithy O'Leary's lyrics spoke to a nation of
disillusioned youths through base-driven riffs of violence and unrest,
as illustrated in this excerpt from, "The I.R.A. Ain't Never Gonna Pay":

The I.R.A. ain't never gonna pay
for the bombs that they've been dropping
on the Protestants and Catholics
on the prison camps and parliament
and hijacked cars and homes --

This album features several full on live tracks as well as a stripped
down version of O'Leary's lyrically genius, "Gunmen and Ghettos."

A must have for any record collector.

Friday, June 5, 2009


Insider news on THE CHAACS: they like to play in the rain.

Thursday, June 4, 2009


The all girl band The Gimps hit the scene in 1981, delivering
a fresh dose of high-voltage rock and roll. Known for their
seemingly accidental stage dives, this fan favorite gained
notoriety in the underground club scene, where their live
performances were nothing short of acid-laden acrobatics and
manic riffs. This best-of compliation boasts most of The Gimps
best work, featuring such title hits as:
All Fall Down
Face First
You Be Trippin
Red Hot Hobble
Masterful Lag Cankle Drag (remix)
... and many, many more.



block chop; Kevin Bradshaw, artist/writer



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